I honestly don’t know how we got to try out pink because the discussion was, “do you want to stay light for the summer,” and my response was, “yes, and I’d like to grow it out a bit as well.” Before you know it, I was saying yes to “let’s try a touch of color.” I expected that it would be blonde with a hint of color. There were many oohs and aahs from the Goran Coban team as they applied color and washed my hair, still unseen by me. I’ve actually had him do my hair and asked not to see it until it was finished before…perhaps that would have been good this time, too, because seeing styled pink hair rather than wet pink might have been an easier transition.
As I returned to his chair with my wet hair wrapped in a towel, I sat. Goran removed the towel, and the BRIGHT PINK revealed itself to me; I nearly broke out in tears. It was certainly a reaction I didn’t expect, nor did Goran. He told me to breathe, and everyone was telling me how pretty it was. Every possible insecurity came rushing forth, and I said adamantly, “Goran do you know what my LEAST favorite color is?” He said questioningly, “pink?” and I said, “YES!” Still trying to calm me, knowing he would change it in a heartbeat if I asked him to, I realized this experience offered me to look at why I was so scared to be pink. As my inner voice continued to say “no, no, no,” my outer voice questioned Goran on what was I to do.
“Goran, I like to blend in and not stand out!”
Goran: “You were born to stand out.”
“I have Global Hugs this weekend, and my hair will be PINK forever in those pictures.”
Goran: “You look beautiful.”
“I’m going to an important meeting next week with people who have never met me; what will they possibly think?”
Goran: “They will think you are the original that you are.”
“I don’t want people to think I’m trying to look young, 20 somethings wear pink hair.”
Goran: “Age means nothing; be you.”
As I walked out of the salon, He reminded me that he would fix it if I wanted him to, so I left thinking I would be back within a week. I felt like a big neon sign was pointing directly at me…a PINK neon sign saying LOOK AT ME…LOOK AT ME. The color was actually pretty, but was it me? It couldn’t be me since I’m a “blend in” girl and certainly not bold. Well, that was my perception anyway.
I absolutely didn’t expect going pink would become a transformative experience, nor did I realize until my hair was, well, so PINK that I felt uncomfortable being bold. I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin. I love being around people and meeting new people, so it wasn’t that I wanted to be a wallflower. But blending in felt comfortable and safe. Being bold and standing out seemed very scary to me. With pink hair, how could I blend in? With pink hair, how could I come and go without being noticed? Incognito was no longer an option. I now had to take a stand and boldly be me. Well, I thought I had to take a stand; what I discovered was that I already had.
I was living in a comfort zone that I discovered didn’t exist. From those I know well to those I just met, I got the same clear message: I don’t blend in. Now, I love seeing individual expression through hair color choices, clothing attire, etc.; I just personally felt I was pretty vanilla when it comes to that. Those who know me well said it suited me because I’m bold and daring. What?? Me bold? Me daring? I sure didn’t think so. I received lots of hugs at global hugs with people whispering in my ear, ‘love your hair.’ The new people I met, the ones I wanted to impress…now what did they think? Even though I felt the need to tell them that my hair isn’t usually pink upon meeting them, they complimented me on it and said it suited my personality. Did they not see I’m a blend-in girl? Who were these people that weren’t seeing the real me? Or was it the other way around, and they did see the real me, but I didn’t…until I went pink?
A month has gone by now, and most of the pink has washed out. I learned a lot about my pink self in this awakening experience about my personal perception of myself versus how others see me. I am excited to return to Goran’s this week for a new adventure…although I highly doubt it will be as eye-opening and hair raising as my month as a pinkie.
I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason and know that my hair turning into my least favorite color was exactly what I needed to step further into being my best self. Now I know I am the person that others see so quickly. I am bold and daring and live life in deep love, laughter, and happiness.
You don’t have to color your hair pink (but you can) to have an awakening about being your best self. Moving forward, I invite you to look within and see and listen to:
Your heart’s desires. What makes you come alive? Perhaps right now, you aren’t living life the way you’d dreamed, but if you listen closely enough, your heart will lead you on a path of self-discovery, allowing you to be bolder and more daring than you thought possible. Start by stepping out of your comfort zone on smaller things and build from there. Maybe your comfort zone has you going the same way to work each day; change it up, and you’ll discover new things on your way to work.
Trust your gut, your intuition. You know that feeling you get when you want to try something, yet you allow fear to hold you back. Do it anyway. Go for it. Be you, boldly and proudly.
Mostly, my wish for you is to realize that you are perfectly imperfect, just as you are at this very moment. Your body type is fine. Your age is fine. Your hair is fine. You are fine. As the moment you see the beauty in who you are right here, right now, that’s the exact moment that life starts getting juicier, bigger, better, bolder, more daring, and more loving.
I found the pretty in pink; until next time….here are you finding your pretty bold self however you need it to show up.
I live and LOVE boldly
Words to LOVE by:
“I love the color pink. It makes a bold statement.” ~ Samuel Larsen
“Freedom lies in being bold.” ~ Robert Frost
“Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful.” ~ William Shakespeare