Life is beautifully messy filled with minute-by-minute experiences offering you the opportunity to see all of it’s wonders. We cherish and lavish in the good times, the celebrations, the love, the laughter and the magic of life. And then, it happens – bad news. Sad news. The phone call. The email. The text message. The media announcement. Something has happened that in that very moment changes you. Some of those changes are brief as the news isn’t that bad, it simply shifts you for a short time and you allow it to pass. Other times, the news rocks you to the core and in that moment you have become a different person.
Last night I heard the news that my favorite mentor, Wayne Dyer, had transitioned. He was 75, not old, not young. He lived a full life of struggle and celebration. He walked his talk. He inspired millions of people throughout his years of teachings that life is meant to be lived full out, open-heart, open-arms and be of service. While I am a firm believer that he has started a new journey and that he truly didn’t ‘die,’ I found myself sad and thought ‘this is bad news.’
I sat on my rooftop for a while in the dark thinking about his teachings and how ingrained they had become in me. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the gorgeous full moon. The tears of sadness quickly turned into tears of deep gratitude of knowing ‘bad’ news isn’t bad at all if you choose to see the beauty in it. I thought about all of his books that I have relished, the times I’ve seen him speak and how he lives in my head when I hear ‘do you want to be right or do you want to be kind?’
As I sat on my rooftop I thought about other times in my life of ‘bad news’ and how my life had changed because of it. I thought about my dad who transitioned 9 years ago and how sad I was. In the years that have gone, there is still moments of missing him deeply and yet I smile and laugh far more than I cry. I thought about a day years ago that truly was the worst day of my life, a day I’ve shared here before. On that fateful day the VP of the company I had worked dutifully at for over a decade threatened to fire me and the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with ended the relationship. It was a painful day and frankly a painful time in my life, and yet I grew because of it. Who knows where life would have led had that not happened, but it probably wouldn’t be where I am today, doing the work I love surrounded with people I love. Being a positive person doesn’t mean I’m immune from bad news or sadness, but it does mean that I know even in moments of deep grief that all is well…if not now, soon.
When bad news occurs in your life whether its from the death of a loved one, a job falling through, a relationship not working out the way you wanted, or any other form of ‘I didn’t want this to happen’ news, I invite you to move forward through it by:
Being okay to feel it. Again being positive doesn’t mean you don’t have fearful (sad, anger, frustration, grief, etc) moments, it simply means you don’t allow them to own you. If someone dies and you believe in eternity, it is still okay to be sad that their physical presence is gone. Even if your sadness is from a job not working out or a relationship not working out, it’s okay to feel it and let it go. Grieve that if needed. Celebrate it if needed. Be okay with moving through sadness in a way that feels right for you.
Finding gratitude in it. Perhaps in the moment you hear bad news you aren’t ready to find the gratitude in it, but when you are ready, you will see it. Look for it. Cherish it. Thank it. When my dad died, one of the things I was able to be grateful for almost immediately was he was no longer sick and I was very grateful that he talked to my mom minutes before he died. My work/relationship, after the hurt and anger subsided I was grateful to my work place for giving me the push I needed to get out of there and as time went on, I was very grateful to what my love had brought to my life.
Loving yourself through it. When things don’t work out the way we want them to, we can be very hard on ourselves. Why did I stay in that job so long? Why did I invest so much in someone? Why, why, why?! Be gentle with yourself through the bad news.
Seeing how past struggles turned out okay. Sometimes in the moment of a painful experience it’s too soon to see the gratitude in that moment. While moving through it, think about times in your past where you received bad news and how eventually (whether it was hours, days, weeks or months) you moved through it and gained new insights on you, often finding yourself happier than you were before.
Mostly, my wish for you is to find courage to live boldly, love deeply, laugh often, hug longer and smile bigger. Why? Because you are worthy of all that is good and just enough ‘bad’ to allow you to live in deeper love, laughter and appreciation for life. Cherish life. Live life. Love life and take nothing for granted.
Until next time, you are loved simply because you are YOU.
Each thought, word and action I have moves me deeper into love.
Words to Live By:
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
~ Wayne Dyer
“Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.”
~ Wayne Dyer
“Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”
~ Wayne Dyer
“It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.”
~ Wayne Dyer
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
~ Wayne Dyer
Music for Your Soul: