You’ve heard it before, heck, I say it a lot myself… all we need is love. Or love is the answer. Or variations of both. And while love is powerful, consuming, and beautiful, is it truly enough? Now at a very high level, I would say YES love is all we need as for me love is unconditional. And then when you get down to the daily living love, that is where it gets tricky. I have a client right now who just ended a romantic relationship even though they both still love each other as love wasn’t enough. I have other clients who are leaving jobs which they loved but know for varying reasons it’s time to move on. I have certainly loved people both romantically and as close friendships that are no longer a part of my life, so love didn’t seem to be enough then.
So, is love enough? That is a hard one for me to wrap words around my thoughts as I’ve pondered this very question for quite some time. For me, while love can and does remain, to participate with others whether in romance, friendship, work, or any other part of my life, more is required than just love for it to be long lasting. Now we all have a varying level of relationships with people, but I’m talking about the ones we spend most of our time with from home to work. I’m also not saying to give up easily and quit on your relationships because there is a challenge to face as challenges are part of life. What I am saying is that long lasting relationships require more than love. Mutual: Love – yes, compassion – yes, kindness – yes, communication – yes, respect – yes, values – yes, and yes – vision/mutual dreams. Love is the answer if it is hanging out with kindness, compassion, communication, respect, shared values, vision and dreams.
So, whether it is a romance, a friendship, or a business relationship, I invite you to move forward by checking in on:
Is there kindness and compassion? We all have our moments where we kindness and compassion seemingly aren’t evident. However, is kindness and compassion should be core values in your relationships.
Is there open communication? Do you feel safe to share who you are? Now that varies depending on the type of relationship as far as how much/what to share, but having open communication with all relationships, especially the important ones to you is a vital element for a healthy long lasting relationship.
Is there mutual respect? Does your mate respect you? Do your friends respect you? Does your boss respect you? Respect for each other is an important ingredient to healthy relationships. Now if you have a mate or boss that isn’t respectful, I’m not saying run out the door, but I am asking you to check in on your feelings and how you can take care of yourself with your own self-respect until you decide how you want to move forward.
Do you have mutually shared values: Do you and your lover, your friends, your boss have the same values? I’m talking big ticket moral and ethical values? If the relationship holds high value in your life, then your values should be in sync for a healthy long-lasting relationship. Do you agree with the values of the company you work at?
Do you have a mutual life vision and life dreams? Again, I’m talking about your vision and dreams that you hold near and dear to your heart, and those differ from person to person. Compromise takes place in all our relationships, but if they are regarding our core values and the things we hold near and dear to us, most likely they will cause resentment in the future if we make compromises on them.
Mostly, I invite you to be so in love and secure with who you are, that you attract people in your life who are mutually aligned to what you value and hold close to your heart.
Until next time, let love be your guide even if it means changing directions.
I bring love, compassion, kindness, and respect to my relationships.
Words to Live By:
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
~ Lao Tzu
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
“True love stories never have endings.”
~ Richard Bach
Sounds for the Soul