How Do You Remain Positive During Disappointment?

Carol Miller Positivity Leave a Comment

shutterstock_489451114Is it possible to remain positive when going through disappointment? Well, it may seem impossible and it may be very challenging, but I am here to tell you that it is possible if you choose to focus on gratitude rather than grief. Whether you are disappointed about your health, your career, or your relationships, there are ways to move through it with grace and gentleness.

Because my passion and purpose is to help heighten peoples celebrations and lessen sorrows through having a positive focus, you would think I never deal with disappointment myself. I mean, come on now, I coach and train people on positivity all the time.  And yet, I think that might be the most powerful thing I can share with you is the fact that positive people get disappointed, hurt, angry and a variety of fear based emotions like anyone else. The difference is, we have trained ourselves to see opportunity rather than opposition.

Recently I dealt with my own disappointment and had to coach myself through the process. Along with running Positive Focus and my private coaching business, I also collaborate with like-minded people helping with event management and social media. I love collaborating with people who are also involved in enhancing the world. One such person, who I have great respect for, had a need for an event planner and even reached out to me personally to ask for me to apply if interested. I was excited and felt quite confident that the job was mine! Needless to say, that person ended up deciding they didn’t have a need for this role with regularity and he sent me a very nice note. I was very disappointed as I love what he offers in the world and loved the idea of helping him with it.  Since I have been intently practicing positivity for many years now, even in the disappointment, I knew all was well, but I also knew I was bummed. So what did I do? I did the following:

I FELT IT: I allowed myself to feel disappointed as I know stuffing my fear based feelings most likely means they will come up in a more destructive way later. Depending on what the disappointment is, it may be a 5 minute feeling my feelings, or it may be a day, a week, a month, etc. You get to decide how long you need to feel your way through it.

I FOUND GRATITUDE IN IT: Next, I asked myself what did I learn from the experience? What was it that attracted me to it in the first place? That way I can carry those good feeling on to my next adventure.

I WENT GENERAL: I went general again. I reminded myself that my passion and purpose is to heighten celebrations and lessen sorrows. Going general allows infinite possibilities on how I can do what I’m passionate about in other ways and possibly the ‘one that got away’ will come back. I can’t control outside influences, but I can control how I react to them.

I PLAYED WHAT IF: Then I played ‘what if’. What if the next opportunity is an even better fit? What if I haven’t even met/heard of the person that will be a better fit? This game gets you into a good feeling place of possibilities of what’s to come rather than focusing on what fell through.

I WAS GENTLE WITH MYSELF: A big one for me is to be GENTLE with myself through the process. Beating myself up for being disappointed just keeps me in that stuck place.

AND I ADDED, THIS OR SOMETHING GREATER: Anything that I am focusing on in my life, I say ‘this or something greater’ as it opens me up to opportunities that I may not even know of. I come up with the general feelings I want to have in my personal and professional relationships and then say – This or something greater!

So if you are dealing with disappointment in your life right now, whether it’s a career disappointment, health disappointment, or relationship disappointment, know that can move through the experience and come out even better on the other side.

I hope these tips help as you are so worthy of living a life filled with happiness, health, wealth, love and magical experiences with just enough challenges to keep you focused on what you want and deserve in your world.

Check out my recent Facebook Live on my recent experience with being disappointed…


I will focus on this or something greater.

Words to Live By:

The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.  ~ Robert Kiyosaki

There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr

When we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.  ~ Kristin Armstrong

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