Have you ever noticed that as you are nearing your goal of ______________ (insert goal here), that seemingly all of a sudden something happens to delay your dream from coming into fruition? Sometimes the situation is so big you feel as though it has ended your dream, not just delayed it. It’s one big road block!
I have certainly experienced it in my own life and often coach my clients through it as well. When I first started Positive Focus I had HUGE dreams of what PF would look like, be like, feel like and accomplish. I knew I wanted to make a positive impact globally and had an image of a physical building in Chicago along with satellite chapters nationally and then globally to offer the opportunity for people to see love over fear. Through the years there have been many successes as well as times where it appeared to be setbacks. Early setbacks affected me far more as I wasn’t as secure in my dream as I am now.
In the beginning, the vision was clear and we (two others were involved at the beginning) were excited about what we were creating. Within six months, the two others left. I wasn’t sure how I could continue without them and felt defeated. Soon new people showed up and often they were just what was needed for the next step in our evolution. I was so excited when people stepped forward in different areas of the country to start local chapters. Two of the three really never got their footing and fizzled early. The third lasted nearly two years and although was successful, it was a struggle for the leader of the chapter and I didn’t feel like I was able to provide enough support for her. Each setback felt like a big blow that I took personally. How was I going to create a global organization if I couldn’t help local chapters succeed? Road block, road block, road block. There were many times, especially early on, that I wanted to give up and throw in the towel. It seemed too hard and was taking too long, so obviously the road blocks were signs it wasn’t meant to be, right? Wrong!
What I discovered with each ‘road block’ was that these seemingly ‘bad signs’ were in truth there to serve me. They weren’t put on my path to make life harder for me. They were put on my path to allow me to discover and clarify that what I was aiming for was truly what I wanted in my life. They were put there to allow me to work out any last fears I had on worthiness of said dream. Often the road blocks allowed me to find creative ways around them rather than seeing them as a stop sign and go back. They allowed me, okay sometimes it took me to get completely around it before realizing it, to see the importance of appreciating and loving the journey. We often are so focused on the destination that we forget to enjoy the steps that got us there. These road blocks allowed me to slow down and pay attention to the scenery along the way to the destination. They allowed me to take a deeper look at who I was and what I wanted in my life. They allowed me to look closer at the path and discover that there could very well be an easier way to get there rather than the way I thought it had to be. Because of that, Positive Focus has grown in different ways than I ever imagined at the beginning and the team has evolved and we continue to get better.
Now I face what initially seems to be a road block as an opportunity to reevaluate and take a detour that could quite possibly be easier than my original plan. I place my focus on what I want and find gratitude for the block for reminding me to have a positive focus. I see them as a chance to provide clarity to what I want in my life and forge ahead.
I invite you to look at any road blocks you might be facing as detours rather than endings by:
Asking yourself what it is you want? If you have started a new relationship or a new job and it isn’t going as well as you’d like, ask yourself what it is you do want. Don’t focus on the person or the job title, focus on how you want to feel in the relationship or how you want to feel at work. When you know how you want to feel, you will be able to use how you don’t want to feel as a catalyst on moving forward.
Being gentle with yourself. When we are working toward a particular dream, we want it NOW. I know I do. Know that each step you are taking, even the ones that appear to be steps backward, are moving you toward what you want. You are getting clearer on your likes by discovering your dislikes. Just because it isn’t happening today, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
Finding gratitude in the road block. When we are frustrated, gratitude doesn’t necessarily come easily and yet it is very possible. You can be grateful for the unreasonable boss knowing because of him, you are now aware of what type of boss you do want to work with.
Knowing its okay to change course. If your dream no longer serves you, it is absolutely okay to abandon course and redirect your focus to your new dream. You gave it your all and you gained a lot of growth and knowledge in the process, so hold your head high and walk away.
Mostly, my wish for you is a complete knowing that you are deserving to live life full out doing meaningful work while having the most loving relationships. See detours as adventurous rather than gloomy and know the only thing that can stop you from living boldly is you.
Until next time, enjoy the journey as the destination is far more fun when you show up in love with life.
Until next tie, enjoy the journey as the destination is far more fun when you show up in love with life.
My path is filled with deep love, laughter and happiness along my journey.
Words to Live By:
“When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.” ~ Barbara Bush
“Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.” ~ Zig Ziglar
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat, it is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~ Denis Waitley
Music to My Ears