I LOVE happy endings!! When friends or coaching clients call or text me to give me good news, I am so excited for them. When I see reports of good news on social media or elsewhere, I’m nearly in tears of joy on how much goodness there is in the world. I’m the girl who loves the romantic comedies because they almost always have a happy ending. Hallmark movies, you guessed it – happy endings and I’m overjoyed. We won’t go into the fact that Hallmark seems to think city girls need to go to the country to find true love, we’ll leave that for another blog. When I recommend a movie, my friends often ask ‘did it have a Carol ending?’ – Meaning was it a happy ending? Now I like all types of movies, but the ones that I watch over again, have a Carol ending. Happy endings are the best! However, to have a true happy ending, as in the movies, often some adversity takes place first. Why? Because without sorrow, our celebrations would be lessened.
Recently a few close friends, clients and myself have dealt with some contrasting situations in career and relationships. Each equally infuriating, disappointing or sad for different reasons, but the simple fact is, the situations we were dealing with didn’t have a happy ending…yet.
One had been brought on to start a business for someone. She poured her heart and soul into it for nearly seven years and developed it from start to finish. At year 7, the funders decided to go a dramatically different route and she left. Another was dealing with finding her footing in a creative pursuit while dealing with a boss that thought the only way to get people to work was to belittle them, so she quit. And another had just realized that a relationship she had thought had great potential and she cared for deeply had run its course. All three ladies are happy people and know these situations won’t last forever as each knows they deserve a happy ending. And although when the initial struggle hit them, they were upset, they each knew in order to have a happy career or relationship they needed to release what wasn’t working. They simply realized that this wasn’t their happy ending. So how do we get that happy ending that we all strive for? Well, let’s think about what we want first.
We all want a happy ending. We want to feel we contribute to the world and matter. We want to know we matter to those we love. We want to feel valued. We want to feel safe and supported. We want fulfilling and meaningful work. We want to be healthy and we want a great partner to go through the journey of life with.
The key to living a life filled with deeper love, laughter and happiness than you could ever have imagined possible is knowing that there will be challenges, adversity and sadness along the way to your happy ending. Every job ending I’ve had came with challenges before I ultimately realized every second of it was worth it because it got me to where I am now. Every relationship (whether friendship or romance) that ended had sadness tied to it and yet I learned more about myself and the types of people I want to surround myself with. Now that doesn’t remotely mean that I wasn’t sad, disappointed, or mad when things ended. Endings have stages to go through just as beginnings do. You have to let go of what doesn’t serve you in order to allow in what does.
Moving forward, I encourage you to focus on your happy endings by:
Letting go of how it should look and focus on how it should feel. Let go of the job title, the exact company, the salary that HAS to be and focus on the feeling of working with kind, collaborative, creative, fun and compassionately driven people. Focus on feeling however you want to feel while doing meaningful work.
Letting go of it has to be ‘him’ or ‘her’ that is your person and focus on the feeling you want to have in the happy ending relationship. That he/she is kind, happy, trustworthy, reliable, funny, supportive, compassionately driven and adores you.
Allowing yourself time to be sad, mad, upset, disappointed on what you thought was moving you toward a happy ending as you realize it was really another step along the way as it allowed you to get clearer on what you DO want in your life by showing you what you don’t. It’s okay to be disappointed that you didn’t get the job that seemed to be the perfect fit while knowing there are lots of other opportunities waiting for you when you open up to new ones. It’s okay to be sad when the person you thought was a great fit for you turns out not to be while reminding yourself that they are not your last opportunity to experience the love of your life. Now, I am not remotely saying walk away from a job or a person because there are challenges, as everything good in life is worth giving it your all. I am saying when you feel you’ve given it your all and it’s still not bringing deeper happiness into your life, then it’s time to forgive – heal – move on.
Forgiving yourself for thinking you stayed too long, not long enough, should have said this, and should have done that. Yes, those moments too are part of the journey allowing you to grow and experience life to its fullest. Without that sadness, the challenges, the disappointments, we would lose touch with the love, the laughter, the happiness that we are destined to live.
Forgiving that boss, that co-worker, that friend, that lover for they are doing the best they can in the moment. Nobody derives pleasure on hurting others unless they are in deep hurt too. Perhaps not in the moment you are fired or quit, or in the moment you end a relationship or its ended for you, but in time you will discover these experiences didn’t then and don’t now define you, but they did help you grow. Send them love on their journey.
Knowing that nothing truly ends, it just shifts energy to be a different situation, experience or person as our truth is pure happiness.
Mostly, my wish for you is to always remember that YOU and only you are responsible for your happiness. The supporting characters in your life from family, friends, colleagues and lovers are there to enhance it and raise the bar for all involved into the happiest, healthiest and most loving life imaginable. And there truly are no endings, just new ways to discover your best life.
Until next time, I believe in your happy ending; it’s time you do too!
I choose happiness in every aspect of my life.
Words to Live By
“If you want a happy ending that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”
~ Orson Welles
“The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.”
~ Audrey Hepburn
“Whoever is happy will make others happy too.”
~ Ann Frank
Music to Inspire