Are you struggling with letting go? I must admit that has been a challenge of mine over the years, even when I knew ultimately it was best to let go. In the past I’ve had a hard time letting go of jobs and relationships. I held on as I wanted to make things right, not understanding… or wanting to understand, sometimes the way to make things right is to let go. Over the years, while still not my strong suit, I’m much quicker to let go as I recognize when it’s time to move on or if hard work will make it better. Trust me, that has taken A LOT of inner reflection. Letting go doesn’t hold me back like it did in the past. Well, that is until my most recent experience of letting go.
The hardest let go of my life happened nearly three months ago when I had to let go of my mom as she transitioned in December. My mom was my anchor, my foundation, and my safety net. I knew I could travel the world and regardless of where I was or what time of day it was, she was a phone call away to help heighten my celebrations or lessen my sorrows. Now, she had health issues for many years, and while she took on her health challenges with a positive ‘can do’ attitude, knowing she was no longer suffering made it a little easier to let her go. And yet, it has still been hard.
While my mom is no longer here physically, I am a firm believer that our connections never end. When my dad passed, I received several signs from him and visits in dreams and I cherish them. I haven’t had that with my mom yet. Well, there have been signs, but not SIGNS, nor have I had many dreams of her that I yearn to have.
What has been interesting to me is, since my mom’s passing, I’ve had many dreams about a past love in my life, someone I let go of MANY years ago. It’s even been a few years since we’ve had any contact at all, so why has he been showing up in my dreams now when I want my mom?! AJ and I were good friends first, and although the romance didn’t last and the friendship fizzled, I always felt safe and protected with him. He was solid and someone I could lean on. He was like a tree that was unwavering. I’ve always been a strong resilient person who manages most anything on my own with a smile and a ‘can do’ attitude, and yet, it was nice having that safe place to fall and recharge. Just like my mom, AJ was that for me too. It took some reflection, but I realized AJ showing up in my dreams was a reminder that I am still safe even if my anchor (mom) seems to be missing.
The dreams were a reminder that although AJ and my mom are no longer in my physical life, their energy is with me to remind me that I am safe and well. I can connect to their energy, or anyone’s for that matter, regardless of where I find myself in the world or what time of day it is. I am never alone. It doesn’t replace the physical presence, but it sure is comforting to tap into.
So, if you are struggling letting go of something in your life whether it be by the death of a loved one, a relationship ending, a job ending, or anything else you feel you are losing, know that you too can connect to that sweet spot of feeling safe energetically if you aren’t quite there yet physically.
Moving forward, I encourage you to let go by:
Being gentle with yourself. Even when you know letting go is necessary and possibly even good, moving into the unknown can be scary. Be kind to yourself as you adjust to your new life without that person physically part of it.
Reaching out to friends or family as you don’t have to walk through the letting go process by yourself.
Knowing that moving on and letting go doesn’t mean they are gone. You can connect to anyone energetically. As you think of them, send love, wish them well, and speak to their souls. If it’s someone who has been a comfort while in your life physically, they can still be a comfort energetically.
Understanding that time is your friend. It may not heal all wounds as they say, but it does lessen them. If you are dealing with grieving right now, I encourage you to read an analogy about a box, a ball, and a pain button I recently read. CLICK HERE to read as it’s the best description I’ve read about grief. Another great resource is an article by John Pavlovitz – Everyone Around You Is Grieving. Go Easy. Both of these have been helpful in my own journey of grieving.
Mostly my wish for you is to know it’s okay to grieve when letting go. You get to decide how long it will take. The more you allow yourself to grieve, the quicker you will begin to smile at the memories. You’ll find great joy in the middle of the sadness. You’ll know that grieving deeply means you loved deeply, and that LOVE is still right with you, just in a different form.
Until next time, you are loved during your celebrations and equally loved during your sorrows.
I am always connected to LOVE.
Words to LOVE by:
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it’s letting go.” – Herman Hesse
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” – Oprah
“History never really says goodbye. History says, ‘See you later.’” – Eduardo Galeano
Sounds for the Soul: